The Plus and Minus of People

by Pastor Eric Nichols

It’s important that you not only know who adds to your life but also “what” they add when you decide to include someone in it! Yes, you read that correctly—“what” did you add to your life when you added them? I emphasize this for two primary reasons: first, because, as the saying goes, “you can’t do life right and relationships wrong,” and second, because “we all have an emotional budget, and many of us unfortunately go bankrupt on people we can’t emotionally afford.”

The best way to explain how critical it is to examine and audit the “what” is by providing you with some basic examples. For instance, people are either a plus or a minus, a positive or a negative, and they are either your example or a warning. In other words, anyone who isn’t adding to your life is most likely subtracting from it.

People you add to your life directly affect the direction your life moves in because they will either push you forward or pull you backward; no one you add will keep you in neutral. This is because everyone you add is either a problem or a solution.

Here is a truth that may be frightening or exciting, depending on your experience: your life and your world will expand or shrink to the size of those you let into it.

By now, you’re probably starting to get a clearer picture. However, it’s equally important to address not only why you added them but why they showed up in the first place. Some people are like sharks—they can smell blood in the water. They sense when you are vulnerable and swoop in to either consume or manipulate you. So, it’s vital to be mindful that every person you add to your life either wants something from you or for you; no one is there without a reason. It’s also possible that their reasons for showing up and their reasons for staying could differ. For example, someone may have initially been at peace with you and enjoyed being around you, but later stayed because they were looking for a way to hurt you, as they were secretly at war with you.

To sum it up, knowing the “what” is important because everyone is either a representation of where you’ve been or where you’re going. Knowing what they bring is crucial because they will either be a source of strength or a cause of weakness.

So, if you’re going to add someone to your life, make sure they are actually a plus, not a minus posing as a plus.